You Don’t Fall In Love, You Fall In a Hole.

Do you often think, “My life would be so much easier if I could simply pick the right person to be part of my life?” The truth is, other than your family, this really isn't that hard to do.  The first thing you have to do to find the right person, is to be the right person, and to do that you need to know who you really are.

It’s important, before looking for that ideal mate, to take a long hard look at yourself and what is it you truly want.  This is the best way to ensure that the person you meet will have similar interests, attributes, and most important, values!  If you don't really know who you are at your core, and are only familiar with who you hope to be, or worse, who you hope someone else will recognize in you, it will be very difficult to find a sustaining relationship.

Even though many people make it through the early set on of Rocky Roads, many others don’t, due to the fact that they depend to heavily on the other person for their validation. We all fall in love, and enjoy the free falling sensation of unlimited possibility, validation, and newness the other person brings into our lives.

However, love is not a thing we should fall in to, a hole is, but not love. Love is an action we must choose give. It is a choice, not an event. That’s what makes it such a vulnerable experience. So we must be our truest selves giving our truest love, to receive it in return.

Our choices and actions choose if we want a restricting, conditional relationship or a free and unconditional one. Most of us, of course, would choose the latter, however, go into a relationship presenting behaviors and vibrations of the former. So it’s important to be clear on who you are and to find out what makes you happy before you expect someone else to do that for you.

In order for you to really get in touch with the inner you, take some time and write things out that really give you a sense of joy and fulfillment.  Is it being with children, supporting the environment? Do you like to go shopping, or are you more interested in learning a foreign language and doing volunteer work.  Have fun, there is no right or wrong answers, it's simply about identifying your core values and supporting those core values so you can attract someone else with similar core values. 

One word of caution though, I did say similar, not exact. You don't want a carbon copy of you. That would get boring. It’s important to recognize that values are very different from interests. Sharing different interest can make the relationship more adventurous. Allowing yourself and your partner the freedom to have and do separate activities is healthy and it's nice at the end of the day for both of you to be able to share with each other your unique experiences of the day.

Compatibility is a wonderful thing in a relationship, but it takes awareness to who you are. It also takes each individual to be strong enough to be unconditional and to take care of their own, so they can consciously choose to give their Love and Support to someone and, in so doing, receive it.

For a FREE consultation on how you can Create Your Story and find love you desire to give contact Anthropy Awareness at info@anthropycoaching.com